Survivor

So Thursday came and went, a hellish day if there ever was one. And I survived. I was one of only 7 people out of a current staff of about 35 who flat-out kept their jobs. Everyone else, managers included, will have to apply for what will end up being 15 positions.

All the part-time jobs are gone, all the temp jobs are gone. Only those of us whose job descriptions changed so little that they were essentially the same jobs we're doing now are secure.

There's a really good severance package being offered, so that's one thing. And there's a good news/bad news part of this: everything drags on until October. The bad news should be obvious: the stress level will be through the roof, and it will be a test of everyone's professionalism to get us through.

But waiting until October to finish the process gives everyone who takes the package another year on their pensions, a very good thing indeed. And it gives people just that much longer to find other jobs if they don't get hired for the new positions, or if they just give up and move on.

I'm so exhausted. And I'm dreading the next few months - I'm weirdly sensitive to this kind of emotion. It drains me, even when I'm not the one experiencing it. Even though I'm usually a little dense about other people's feelings, for some reason I have an antenna for this kind of tension.

So, whoo hoo, and gack - all at the same time. And oddly enough, this is almost exactly another hundred days. Let's see what I can get done this time, more than just survive.

Wish me luck

This will be a tough week. Thursday we find out the results of the reorganization.

I don't know how they'll be handling letting people know they've lost their jobs, or if that's already happened and there are walking wounded among us. I have strong evidence that the latter is true. So I get to go to work this week not knowing each day if I'll be going back the next.

Not a good week at all.

Please think good thoughts for me. I still don't know what I want out of this, except for the process to be done. And for me not to end up as a manager, or to end up working directly for our director. Either of those things would be B-A-D.

And bravo

Or, really, bra-frickin'-vo:
It's the Women, Stupid - digby on abortion.

I wish I were as clear-thinking as the people I admire so much (digby, Glenn Greenwald, Keith Olbermann, etc.). But I guess as long as they keep thinking and writing or speaking, I don't have to.

Dear God

A Month Of Sundays - Seattle's newspaper sends some of its writers to church to report back.

I am bemused ...

This will really recharge you, in every sense of the word

A beach bag that recharges your cell and laptop while you're soaking up the sun.

I think I need some time curling my toes into the sand ... :)

Inconceivable

I've always been a chocoholic. Pretty much, if it's chocolate, I'll eat it, and lots of it, and anytime I can. My inner child is Uter (shown above), the rotund exchange student from the Simpsons, covered in chocolate.

But not any more. Part of the eating program I'm doing requires that all sweets be moved to mealtime. So if I want to have chocolate, I have to have it with my protein and carb. There's no addictive zing to that kind of consumption.

And so far, with only rare exceptions, I'm completely over my chocoholism. No zing, no craving.

It's all so simple, and so unbelievably cool.

Going to hell in a pair of cuffed pants

Have you all been reading about the DC administrative law judge who is suing a dry cleaners for $54 million over a pair of lost pants?

(If not, there are details here, here, and here, with a fashion-oriented snarky account here.)

Clearly this man is crazy. What lost pair of pants is worth that kind of money (and he originally sued for much more), or would cause emotional pain on that scale?

And what's even worse is that the people he's suing are a Korean immigrant couple who clearly don't have this kind of money.

So if you'd like to give money to the couple's legal defense fund, here's the link.

I hope the judge hands this man his ass. Then he won't need pants.

Better mood today

The headache I've had for a week finally broke overnight, so I'm in a much better mood today. Amazing what not having your head throbbing can do for your mood, eh?

Feeling blah, feeling down

I'm struggling with a bunch of things. None of them seem to be what I thought they'd be. I'm not sure what to do. But I'm definitely in a bit of a downturn.

Part of it is work. We're in the process of a reorganization that has dragged on for more months than I can remember. We're nearly at the end - we'll know at the end of the month what the result is.

And a month ago if you'd asked me what I wanted, I would have said: give me a buyout. I want out. That's how I got out of my last job, after I'd waited and stayed far too long, to the point of burnout and depression. Right where I am now.

But now that things are coming to a close, I really want to keep this job. The benefits are amazing; I'm actually vested in one of the last pensions left on earth. And given where I work, they wouldn't dare take that away. And some really interesting projects are coming up all of a sudden.

But, lord am I tired. I'm so burned-out I puff ashes out my mouth with every utterance. I feel like I'm 100 years old.

So, another day.

Geek peak

OK, you really have to be a geek to love this one, and it helps to have some O'Reilly manuals on your shelf:

LOLCODE: The Comprehensive Guide, from O'RLY.

That maniacal giggling you hear is just me ...